Shaving My Head

The first thing I noticed is that I have a pretty good skull structure! The second thing I noticed was that it looked like I had some sort of pernicious rash, as my hair has not all fallen out yet, and apparently my hair color was quite variable, in patches. Some patches, as big as an inch or so, were all dark brown. Not noticable when mixed with blond, light brown and reddish hair, but very noticable on a bald head.

Let me back up a couple of days. First, I got my “boy” cut on Monday. I liked the cut, it felt free and light. It also gave me confidence that when my hair grows back I won’t hate having short hair. I kept running my fingers through my hair and enjoying the sensation.

On Tuesday and Wed I started feeling the tingling/lightly painful sensation that my surgeon described to me as “when you have a ponytail in too tight and you take it out.” That was exactly what it felt like, but more intense in different parts of my head. Caused me to run my fingers through my hair even more, which on Wed night started yielding more and more strands to come out in my fingers. By Friday it was more like clumps, if I pulled on a section of hair, it would mostly come out. Saturday I wore a hat to the concert we attended at the Laughing Goat Coffeehouse on Pearl Street (our neighbor Mohammed Alidu was playing with some performers from the Congo who were finishing up the Playing for Change tour) . It was wonderful, loud, energetic, and helped me to forget the pain I was in from a battle between my uterus and the chemotherapy (short story: uterus wants to have normal menstrual cycle, chemo wants to put me into menapause, results in horrific cramping requiring Percocet and Advil and Ativan all at once).

When we got home, I was compulsively pulling chunks out of my hair, I don’t know why. Maybe because if my hair “falls” out, I wanted to be the one in control of the process. Or maybe because I never can leave things alone, I pick at scabs, callouses, etc. So by the time Jeremy got Evan to sleep for the 2nd time (he has a chest cold and isn’t sleeping well), I was taking a “relaxing” bath and had pulled more than half my hair out. I looked like an old woman with really thin hair, or, well, a cancer patient. I said “Get out the clippers” and he buzzed my head to the scalp. Then we did a bit of shaving with a men’s electric shaver, but really, that doesn’t feel great and I think the chemo will take care of the last bits of hair when I rub my head to wash my “hair.” If not, we have to talk.

I did hear of a woman who said she lost all her body hair except for under her arms. Is there no justice! For the record, some of my other, more, ahem, personal body hair is leaving, but my legs and armpits seem to be just as furry. Ack. I have no sensation in the right armpit, so my surgeon recommended not shaving it until I can actually feel what I’m doing. Good suggestion!

Photos of my cue ball head are not forthcoming, I’m waiting until all the hair is gone and this weird splotchy look is gone. Probably won’t be long.



2 Responses to “Shaving My Head”

  1. kneek says:

    Nice to hear you’ve been out enjoying live music. Too bad the cramps had to go with you.

  2. pokhra says:

    I’m glad to hear that your noggin is well shaped. I for one, do not have a good looking bald head. I hope the pictures from 1994 or so never see the light of day!

    Keep your spirits up and keep looking for the small pleasures in life.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.